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Are you overthinking things??

93700-Over-Thinking-Kills-Happiness

It  happens all the time.  Someone you know is going through something really tough.  You want to reach out to them, but you just don’t know what to say.  The more you think about it, the more your mind begins to overthink it.

We all have thoughts that inhibit our actions.  We question ourselves, should I call or email, or maybe text my friend in need? What if I say the wrong thing and make it worse? What if they don’t want to talk to me?  What if I make it worse?  Those negative self defeating thoughts keep coming and coming.  Sadly,  we end up not reaching out and continue to overthink the situations.

Our brains directly control our behavior. When the brain is ‘regulated’ properly it works better. It gives us clarity.  How do we get that clarity?

Biofeedback and Neurofeedback provide clearer thinking.

Biofeedback and  Neurofeedback are a great ways to help open our brain’s neural pathways that create self regulation to improve, and enhance our neurological and physiological responses. It can help us think more clearly and teach us how to respond to everyday stress in a healthy way. Biofeedback and neurofeedback provide the kind of evidence-based therapy that can benefit everyone. It enables an individual to learn how to change physiological activity for the purposes of improving health and performance in our daily lives.

Clear thinking allows action:

  • Don’t assume others have called. Often, even good friends don’t call because they know what to say.
  • Don’t text or email. A phone call can make someone feel loved at a time they need it most. They will remember it.
  • Don’t worry about saying the wrong thing. The act of you picking up the phone and giving your voice to their pain trumps any of the actual words you’d use in the conversation.
  • If they don’t want to talk, they won’t answer. Leave a message. It means just as much.
  • If you’re worried about it being uncomfortable, you’re focusing too much on yourself. The phone call isn’t about you. It’s about them, and there is nothing uncomfortable about taking a few minutes to let another human know they matter.

Don’t overthink things.  Just call.

6 MOOD BOOSTERS TO TRY IF YOU’RE SINGLE ON VALENTINE’S DAY

For individuals in relationships, Valentine’s Day can be tremendously thrilling. Particularly if you have an affinity for grand gestures of love, this day can be the perfect justification for going all out. However, if you’re single on Valentine’s Day, “love day” might remind them of how alone you feel.

For some, the day of romance can feel like a burden, especially those who are grieving the absence of a relationship. These can bring up bittersweet or unpleasant memories of the past and feed into feelings of loneliness. Below are some tips on how singles can stay upbeat and occupied on when you’re single on Valentine’s Day.

Do Not Stay In

Make efforts to ensure that the night of Valentine’s Day is not spent alone at home. If your loved ones are unavailable, do some volunteer work, check out a cookery class, seek out a singles event or get otherwise involved. Typically, there are some ‘anti-Valentine’s’ events going on and you’ll be surprised by how many individuals head out alone.  This might take some amount of courage. However, it is a great reminder of the number of people who are in a similar situation as you. Sitting home alone, it can feel as if you are the only individual in the world who is not in a relationship. However, this is not the case.

Go Out with Loved Ones

single on Valentine's Day

There are many individuals in our lives who we adore, and a significant other is only one of those individuals. There is nothing that stipulates that because you are not currently involved in a relationship that you cannot spend the day with someone you love and care for. Make Valentine’s Day plans with your best friends, siblings or parents. Remind yourself of how difficult pinning some people down can be when they are in a relationship. You should also rejoice in the fact that you are able to dedicate quality time to other individuals in your life who you love.

Pamper Yourself

Being single on Valentine’s Day gives you the opportunity to engage in whatever you want to do. You don’t need to check in with anybody else. This time away from needing to compromise without having to worry about another person’s needs or wants presents a tremendous opportunity to unselfishly and deservedly concentrate on yourself. “Love day” provides a wonderful chance to pamper and celebrate yourself. Go ahead and spoil yourself by indulging in loving, self-care gifts. Try a scented bubble bath, a facial, a manicure, a pedicure, a massage or a makeover.

Go Get Physical

Traditionally, yoga studios, running trails and gyms are crowded on Valentine’s Day and this is for good reason. Since the heart is way more than just a symbol for Valentine’s Day, keeping it healthy is an essential part of self-love and care. Not being a part of a couple on Valentine’s Day makes it a remarkable time to get into a workout facility. Or even try a Zumba class and dance yourself happy.

Quit Complaining

Loneliness is a painful feeling that can gnaw at your gut and make you miserable; but only if you allow it. It is quite understandable that you might want to vent and grumble for a bit. However, constant complaining tends to annoy other people and make things seem worse than they really are. Among the things that take place when you are complaining repeatedly — even when individuals are caring enough to listen for the first few times — is that you reinforce the issues you are having. You are basically causing your brain to become aggravated repeatedly. Which will only feed the negativity and cause you to feel worse.

Find Satisfaction in Your Situation

If your circumstances do not permit you to date or you opt not to, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Thankfully, your self-worth is not defined by the existence of a significant other or the lack of thereof. There is definitely no need to rush to be in a relationship by Valentine’s Day. Just ensure that you are happy despite your relationship status.

BEAT HOLIDAY LONELINESS AND HOST FRIENDSGIVING

We love our holidays in the U.S. so much we are creating informal ones to give us more to celebrate! Friendsgiving is a day where friends come together to eat and enjoy each other’s company. From the combination of the words, you can tell it is a blend of ‘friends’ and ‘Thanksgiving.’ Usually, the participants will share a large meal near or on Thanksgiving day. Some people are serious about Friendsgiving celebrations: there are how-tos, sample menus, and even “rules” for Friendsgiving. However, the day can be as involved or as simple as you would like! Pick and choose from our Friendsgiving ideas below to host a fabulous Friendsgiving event this year.

Why Host a Friendsgiving Meal?

Many women over 50 may wish to spend time with their family on holidays. Sometimes, their children or other family members can live far away though. It may be their year to spend with their spouse’s family. This makes it difficult to get together during the holidays. If this is the case the holidays may be lonely. However, hosting Friendsgiving can benefit mature Americans in many ways including:

  • Gathering with friends that they may not have seen in years
  • The chance to meet new people and make new friends in their community – invite “strays” in your office, neighborhood or groups
  • Learn new cooking skills and taste new meals
  • Indulge in recapping old memories
  • Those who may otherwise be alone for the holidays will get to spend time with people they actually like and start new traditions

Friendsgiving Ideas for Hosting

Friendsgiving celebrations are a day to focus on friends! Especially for people who may be missing family, you will want to wow them so they won’t feel like they’re missing anything. You can unleash the recipe you have been working on and invite some of your friends to showcase their skills. Food is a vital part of any Thanksgiving, and so should be vital to Friendsgiving as well. Traditional foods such as turkey and mashed potatoes can be an option. But remember the essence and value of all of you being together, so spend time celebrating instead of cooking elaborate dishes. It is advisable that you go for easy recipes, have ready-made food, and ensure you spend most of your time sharing the moments precisely as these Friendsgiving ideas indicate. Or, invite everyone early and cook all the dishes together (while maybe drinking wine and playing some danceable/singable music.)

If the thought of cooking at all seems too stressful, so many places offer catered feasts these days…from your local grocery stores, to restaurants, to the group off nextdoor that sells fried turkeys. Order in and laugh at how easy it all is.

>READ: THE MEANING OF FRIENDSHIP: SMALL CIRCLE, BIG SUPPORT

Friendsgiving Activities to Entertain Guests

When planning this celebration, many activity ideas come to mind. Have some fun, research and learn what will be appealing to the people you are inviting. You need ideas that will work with all your friends attending. Some of these unique ideas may include:

  • Make the meal a potluck! Ask everyone to bring their favorite Thanksgiving dish and a story about why it is their favorite. This will be a sweet way to think of Thanksgiving pasts.
  • Have a cookie decorating contest. Provide plain Thanksgiving-themed sugar cookies and some decorations then vote on the best cookie.
  • Volunteer for a few hours as a group. Serve food in a food kitchen, walk dogs at the local animal shelter, or spend time volunteering at a children’s hospital. Everyone will be hungry for a great meal after an afternoon spent giving back.
  • Make your own party favors. Provide some small gourds and craft supplies so people can create their own Friendsgiving masterpiece or set up a photo station and send people home with instant photos of the day.
  • Plan a wine pairing and tasting to try new types of wine and encourage conversation among guests about their favorite combinations.
  • Host after hours or a day later and serve the leftovers – If your friends are spending the big day with family, host it after and let people bring whatever’s left from that feast, including all ready open bottles of spirits. It’s the ultimate in casual fun.

>READ: 12 TIPS FOR HOSTING A DINNER PARTY AND WINE PAIRING

Add an Extra Touch with Friendsgiving Decor!

You may want to be creative with the décor you set up for this day. For example, you can choose a unique color theme. Fall colors can be monotonous. You can break away by setting up totally a different theme color, like copper and green or navy and trendy rose gold. There is no standard Friendsgiving color, and you are free to try anything! Or purchase potted plants for a nice table centerpiece, either synthetic or live. Besides this, you can also purchase additional items to add a special touch of celebration for this day, like candles, name cards and fall-themed napkins. We’ve included some of our favorite options below!

 

Leigh Richardson: The Threat of Humiliation May Lead to Suicide

A new online scam is hitting the web threatening to expose users’ browsing habits unless a fee is paid. The hackers behind the extortion scam are likely bluffing, but the impact on victims could be more damaging than just financial. Dallas counselor Leigh Richardson worries that the fear of humiliation is a trigger that could lead to suicide.

It hits that fear button, it could be enough to make you think, “I’m so stupid, that was so dumb, If anyone finds out it would be easier if I wasn’t even here.”

The scam uses the fear of public embarrassment and humiliation, similar to the Ashley Madison leak from several years ago, where we saw suicides there also.

Watch The Entire Interview Here

Leigh Richardson: Social Media Posts Might Be Masking Real Pain

Life portrayed on social media may not be what it seems. A viral tweet by Buzzfeed writer and podcast host Tracy Clayton was a catalyst for conversation about mental health and how social media is used as a tool to mask real pain behind the screens.

The tweet read:

tweet

“Social media has created a different culture, a comparison culture.”

The tweet received thousands of likes and hundreds of retweets. Leigh found the gesture inspiring and impactful.

“People found hope, more hope by being able to share information and to hear what other people had to say about it…Social media, it’s here. It’s part of our day-to-day life. But we all need to learn how to use it and that it’s not just a spot for us to compare ourselves to everybody else.”

Watch the Full Interview Here

What To Remember About Memory Loss

Forgetting is Normal

We all forget things, and with time, we’ll start relying more on lists, note apps, and social cues to recall. The good thing though? It’s natural, and it’s okay. Here’s what you should know about memory loss and how to cope with it, whether it’s you or someone you love.

What Is Memory Loss?

Memory loss is characterized as “unusual forgetfulness.” That means, remembering new events or recalling one or more memories from the past becomes more difficult or impossible. Memory loss and other cognitive declines can result from normal aging, but it can be due to other health problems or injuries such as concussion or cancer treatment. Some of these can be treatable, and there are ways you can cope.  

Coping with Memory Loss

Memory loss, even simply from aging, can be frustrating and sometimes scary for a person. If you know you struggle with remembering things, take precautions:

  • Try to stick to a daily routine.
  • Rely on calendars, lists, post-it notes, or daily planners.
  • Designate spots for important items, and if need be, label the spot.
  • Don’t leave a room with water running or the stove on.
  • Take things slow. If you can’t remember a word, describe it, and do so calmly. Sometimes, the panic of not immediately remembering a word can nix all efforts of recalling it.
  • Use associations for recall.
  • Sleep well and routinely.
  • For important documents, print them out and keep a file in case you can’t find where you stored them on your computer or you accidentally deleted them.
  • Practice repetition. It’s been proven that repetition can make things easier to remember. For example, when meeting someone, repeat their name out loud.

Most importantly, be patient with yourself. Nothing makes memory loss an even more upsetting predicament than distracting thoughts resulting from panicky frustration.

Memory Loss & Communication

When someone you love is dealing with more than normal memory loss, it can be hard to communicate like you used to. Understanding what they’re saying and vice versa becomes more difficult. Patience, empathy, and open communication are key here.

Be patient while they try to remember a word or if they don’t remember something you’re referring to. Empathize when they forget something because it upsets them more than you. And communicate when you think it’s getting more serious, but do so kindly and in a soothing environment.

Choose simpler words and minimize other distractions in the environment during a conversation. Aid them however you can, and when talking to them about their impairment, do so respectfully, without speaking to them like a baby. Give them time to comprehend your words and come up with a response. More than anything, show that you care.

Maintain a Healthy Brain, Especially As You Age

No matter what age you are, taking steps to keep your brain healthy can impact your cognitive performance and help with memory loss. Practicing these habits can put some control back in your hands. Not to mention, they can impact other aspects of health as well. Other options are open as well, such as Neurofeedback, a proven method to increase neuronal communication in the brain.

Pain Lives in the Brain

Pain is a universal concept. It’s understood as the unpleasant (sometimes chronic) sensation that warns against potentially damaging or harmful stimuli found in everyday life. While pain is in fact uncomfortable and unpleasant, it does help us as humans adapt in a way that teaches us to avoid situations that could hurt us. But, have you ever wondered exactly how we interpret pain?

The Perception of Pain

In simplest terms, pain is a complex interaction between sensory nerve cells, the spinal cord, and the brain. When an area of our bodies is injured, certain pain receptors are activated and send signals throughout the peripheral nervous system (PNS) to the central nervous system (CNS), where responses are triggered. The PNS actually houses the nerves that respond to pain (peripheral nerves); these nerves carry messages from skin, muscles, and internal organs to your spinal cord and brain (CNS) in the form of electrical currents and chemical reactions.  

The peripheral nerves are what sense the threatening stimuli, whether it’s a cut, burn, or pressure. In fact, these are the same nerve cells that transmit information from your senses (smell, sight, hearing, taste, and touch). The specialized nerve endings we are referring to are called nociceptors, all found in your skin, bones, joints, muscles, and tissues, and send the pain messages along the peripheral nerve to the spinal cord.

Pain is Multidimensional

Pain is both physical and emotional, involving other psychological aspects, like learning and memory. After life experience in hurting ourselves in the past, we now know that cutting ourselves while dicing onions is painful. Thus, the anticipation of pain has a say in our perception. Often, there’s even an emotional response that comes after we stub our toe or slip and fall, such as frustration with ourselves.  

There are two types of pain: chronic and acute. Chronic pain lasts longer than six months and can be anywhere from just annoying to crippling, while acute pain is onset by a specific injury or disease and usually heals after a certain period of time. Chronic pain, on the other hand, hijacks the brain, causing it to reorganize the white and gray matter into a dys-regulated state. To help with this pain, a person needs psychological and neurological assessment. One way to stop the pain is to change the way the brain reacts to nerve impulses from a dys-regulated state to a regulated state. Biofeedback is a recognized treatment modality for chronic pain.

Emotional Pain Feels Physical

When we have our hearts broken, we often describe this feeling as “heartache.” There is truth to this metaphor, as emotional pain can cause physical reactions, such as certain sensations in our chest. Whether it’s muscle tightness, increased heart rate, nausea, or shortness of breath (a panicky feeling), emotional pain involves the same areas of the brain as that of physical pain.

The anterior cingulate cortex is the area of the brain that regulates emotional reactions. It’s been shown that activity in this region helps to explain how an emotionally stressful situation can trigger a biological response. When dealing with something emotionally stressful, the anterior cingulate cortex increases the activity in what’s called the vagus nerve (which starts in the brain stem and connects to the neck, chest, and abdomen). When overstimulated, the vagus nerve can cause feelings of pain and nausea.

Pain is Different for Everyone

Brain imaging today has confirmed that pain is felt differently by everyone, as some may be more sensitive to pain than others. While one sensation may feel painful by one person, it may simply feel uncomfortable to another. It’s important that, if you are experiencing pain, to seek the appropriate help and advice. You don’t have to live with it.  

Brain Awareness Week: Maintain A Healthy Brain

Next week is Brain Awareness Week, an appropriate time for a quick refresher on how to keep your brain healthy and functioning at its best. It’s also a time to really appreciate what our brains do for us. The brain is, in a sense, the nucleus of all of our decision-making, emotional experiences, physical movements, memory, and much more. As such an integral part of our existence, the brain should be treated as healthily as possible. Here are some ways to do that.

Keep Learning

In other words, exercise your brain. Studies show that mentally stimulating activities help the brain to create new connections between nerve cells, possibly even creating new cells. In turn, this improves “neural plasticity,” which is the brain’s ability to adapt. Examples of mentally stimulating activities include reading, taking school courses, word puzzles, chess, or even more creative tasks, such as painting, drawing, knitting, and other crafts in general.

Exercise

Actual physical exercise has been shown to improve brain health as well, as it increases the number of tiny blood vessels that bring oxygen-rich blood to the part of the brain in charge of thought. Much like mental stimulation, using your body’s muscles helps the brain become more efficient, plastic, and adaptic. It also lowers blood pressure, helps balance blood sugar levels, improves cholesterol levels, and reduces stress. All of these benefit the health of the brain and the body as a whole.

Be Quiet

In today’s world, everything is moving so rapidly, and our schedules are stressing us out. From working out, keeping up with our social lives, maintaining our full time jobs, and having relationships, families, and sometimes even dealing with trauma, there is a lot going on in our heads. In fact, it’s all happening so fast that our brains are sometimes unable to process the information and our environment. At some point, your brain just needs silence–a practice that has been shown to create new cells in the brain and speed up mental processing.    

Have a Healthy Diet

Not only is a healthy diet good for your body, but it also has effects on cognitive processes and emotions. Studies have shown that dietary factors influence neuronal function and brain plasticity, potentially improving cognitive ability. With a decent focus on fruits, vegetables, fish, nuts, unsaturated oils, and plant sources of proteins, you have a brain-healthy diet that is less likely to develop cognitive impairment and dementia.

Have a Healthy Social Life

Social connectedness has a lot of benefits, including decreased feelings of depression, living longer, stronger immune system, and even reduced risk of dementia. Studies have shown that those who connect with others tend to perform better on tests of memory and other cognitive skills. This is not to say that anyone should force themselves to be around people constantly, but rather to find people–even a select few–to connect with and confide in. Having that deep connection with others makes life less lonely and more genuine.

Get Some Feedback: Neurofeedback

Sometimes, to maintain a healthy brain, you have to look at the brain itself. Through neurofeedback–a form of biofeedback that relies on brainwave patterns and measures brain wave activity to indicate how a person is functioning–you can learn to improve and strengthen brain waves. In turn, it improves learning, focus, and attentiveness.

Happy Brain Awareness!

Brain Awareness Week, in a sense, is “awareness of awareness.” Your brain gives you the ability to even be aware, so give back to your brain. By doing so, you give back to your entire body and your well-being altogether.

 

SOURCES

Cell Phone Addiction is Changing Our Brains

We may not even notice we’re doing it, but it has become a primary form of entertainment, information, and now addiction: the mobile device. The word “addiction” is derived from the Latin word, “addico,” which means “to devote or surrender to” or “enslaved by.” Today, it’s seen as a chronic disease that can actually change our brains’ functioning and structure. Without much awareness, we depend on our smart devices and act on that dependency compulsively.

For adolescents, it’s even more of an issue, with 94% of teens going online using a mobile device daily, and 24% of them going online “almost constantly.” According to 2015 Pew Research, 46% of smartphone owners said “they couldn’t live without” their devices. With the usage prevalence, some researchers even consider it to be one of the greatest addictions of the current century.

A team of South Korean researchers have found that kids who used the internet or messed with their phones compulsively experienced an increase in the neurotransmitter, dopamine, to the part of the brain involved in addiction. In other words, dopamine is part of the reward system of the brain, and rewarding behavior can lead to addiction. Dopamine also plays a role in learning and memory, so repeated exposure causes nerve cells to communicate in a way that associates liking something with wanting it, driving us to pursue it.

Behaviors of Cell Phone Addiction

Cell phone addiction can manifest itself in many behaviors, but it’s mostly a combination of some of these.

  • Checking phone in the middle of the night
  • Anxiety at not having the device with you–even if it’s not lost. Or, feeling a drug-like withdrawal
  • Checking phone as many as 900 times a day (addicted)–while the average person checks their phone 110 times a day
  • Sleep deprivation can be a symptom that affects school performance and increases irritability (61% of teens say cell phone use has negative impact on schoolwork)
  • Usage creates family arguments
  • Have less face-to-face interactions/conversations
  • Isolation from friends and family
  • Cell phone usage becomes a way to escape stress and reality
  • Constant use, even while doing other things, such as driving and walking (11 teens die every day texting while driving)
  • Experience something called “text neck,” which is chronic strain from looking down
  • Eye strain/blurred vision from focusing on blue light and small screen
  • Decreased neural connectivity, affecting emotional control
  • Experience phantom vibrations, which is when we feel a non-existent cell phone alert
  • There are co-occurring disorders, such as deepening depression with lack of human interaction and increase in anxiety when cell phone is not available
  • Sleeping with phone under pillow (90% of 18-29 year olds sleep with their smartphones)

Setting Smartphone Boundaries

In the end, if it interferes with quality of life, relationships, and career, it’s time to set some restrictions for your teens and/or re-evaluate your own dependence. First, create self-awareness about how much data you’re actually using and then restrict yourself or your children’s data usage. For your kids (and you), designate a time without cell phones or devices. We all need to be brought back down to earth; otherwise, we (especially younger ones) are only going to become dependent upon the dopamine released when using an electronic device. Our brains need fresh air and physical/motor activity for good mental health.

Reward this “tech time-out” with positive reinforcement, and ultimately, be a role model. Show your kids–and even your adult family and friends–that life is good when you put down the phone. Connecting with your surroundings and those around you is just as important as (if not more than) connecting with your friends across the country or reading up on the royal wedding.

Is this easy to do? No.

Is it doable? Yes.

Is it necessary? Absolutely.

SOURCES:

Does TV Rot Your Brain?

television--electronics_19-105647Watching TV is something virtually everyone does, but did you know that TV can actually be harmful to you?  Television viewing can, for example, increase your risk of premature death, reduce your level of intelligence, completely obliterate your ability to concentrate and increase your risk of developing neurodegenerative brain disorders.

Researchers in Australia have concluded that watching television increases risk of death from heart disease, strokes and even cancer. Every hour spent watching television each day increases the risk of dying from heart disease by almost a fifth, say scientists. Studies found that people who sat in front of the box for more than four hours a day were 80% more likely to die for reasons linked to heart and artery disease.

“Even if someone has a healthy body weight, sitting for long periods of time still has an unhealthy influence on their blood sugar and blood fats,” said the study’s lead researcher, Prof David Dunstan, from the Baker IDI Heart and Diabetes Institute in Victoria, Australia.

While we know a sedentary lifestyle can be dangerous to our health, few studies have  examined the effects of what watching too much TV can do to our brains. Research carried out over 25 years by California’s Institute for Research and Education has recently shown the dangers of television for our neurons, even in those who exercise regularly.

The participants were divided into two groups according to their television habits: frequent viewers (more than 3 hours of television per day) and moderate viewers (less than 3 hours per day). Their cognitive function was evaluated using the DSST (Digit Symbol Substitution Test), Stroop test, and RAVLT (Rey Auditory Verbal Learning Test).

The results showed that the most frequent viewers over the 25 years (10.9%) were more likely to perform poorly on the cognitive tests. Secondly, the participants with low physical activity (16.3%) performed poorly on the DSST. Thirdly, when compared to moderate viewers engaging in regular physical activity, frequent viewers who exercised little were nearly twice as likely to perform poorly on cognitive tests. Too much television and a lack of physical activity represent independent factors linked to a decline in cognitive brain performance.

And the worst news: Exercise can’t compensate for the harmful effects of too many hours spent watching television. If you’re athletic, you are undoubtedly maintaining your cognitive abilities better than sedentary individuals, but if you also watch television for more than three hours per day, it is likely to have negative consequences on your intellectual activity.

Television reduces your ability to think critically. When you watch TV, brain activity switches from the left side of your brain (responsible for logical thought and critical analysis) to the right side.  This is significant because the right side of the brain tends not to analyze incoming information.  Instead, it uses an emotional response which results in little or no analysis of the information.  In other words, this is like someone telling you something and you believing what they say without doing your own research.

Your brain is actually more active when you are sleeping than when you are watching television! Since the health of your brain is largely determined by how much you actively use it, watching too much television can have a detrimental effect on the health of your brain.  One of the reasons that brain activity is so low when watching TV is because you really don’t have to do anything.  When you read, for example, you have to mentally create images of what you are reading. This requires significant brainpower to do so.

So, the saying ‘TV rots you brain’ has more truth to it than you might imagine. Excessive television viewing has also been linked to degenerative brain disorders later in life such as dementia and Alzheimer’s disease.