6 MOOD BOOSTERS TO TRY IF YOU’RE SINGLE ON VALENTINE’S DAY

For individuals in relationships, Valentine’s Day can be tremendously thrilling. Particularly if you have an affinity for grand gestures of love, this day can be the perfect justification for going all out. However, if you’re single on Valentine’s Day, “love day” might remind them of how alone you feel.

For some, the day of romance can feel like a burden, especially those who are grieving the absence of a relationship. These can bring up bittersweet or unpleasant memories of the past and feed into feelings of loneliness. Below are some tips on how singles can stay upbeat and occupied on when you’re single on Valentine’s Day.

Do Not Stay In

Make efforts to ensure that the night of Valentine’s Day is not spent alone at home. If your loved ones are unavailable, do some volunteer work, check out a cookery class, seek out a singles event or get otherwise involved. Typically, there are some ‘anti-Valentine’s’ events going on and you’ll be surprised by how many individuals head out alone.  This might take some amount of courage. However, it is a great reminder of the number of people who are in a similar situation as you. Sitting home alone, it can feel as if you are the only individual in the world who is not in a relationship. However, this is not the case.

Go Out with Loved Ones

single on Valentine's Day

There are many individuals in our lives who we adore, and a significant other is only one of those individuals. There is nothing that stipulates that because you are not currently involved in a relationship that you cannot spend the day with someone you love and care for. Make Valentine’s Day plans with your best friends, siblings or parents. Remind yourself of how difficult pinning some people down can be when they are in a relationship. You should also rejoice in the fact that you are able to dedicate quality time to other individuals in your life who you love.

Pamper Yourself

Being single on Valentine’s Day gives you the opportunity to engage in whatever you want to do. You don’t need to check in with anybody else. This time away from needing to compromise without having to worry about another person’s needs or wants presents a tremendous opportunity to unselfishly and deservedly concentrate on yourself. “Love day” provides a wonderful chance to pamper and celebrate yourself. Go ahead and spoil yourself by indulging in loving, self-care gifts. Try a scented bubble bath, a facial, a manicure, a pedicure, a massage or a makeover.

Go Get Physical

Traditionally, yoga studios, running trails and gyms are crowded on Valentine’s Day and this is for good reason. Since the heart is way more than just a symbol for Valentine’s Day, keeping it healthy is an essential part of self-love and care. Not being a part of a couple on Valentine’s Day makes it a remarkable time to get into a workout facility. Or even try a Zumba class and dance yourself happy.

Quit Complaining

Loneliness is a painful feeling that can gnaw at your gut and make you miserable; but only if you allow it. It is quite understandable that you might want to vent and grumble for a bit. However, constant complaining tends to annoy other people and make things seem worse than they really are. Among the things that take place when you are complaining repeatedly — even when individuals are caring enough to listen for the first few times — is that you reinforce the issues you are having. You are basically causing your brain to become aggravated repeatedly. Which will only feed the negativity and cause you to feel worse.

Find Satisfaction in Your Situation

If your circumstances do not permit you to date or you opt not to, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Thankfully, your self-worth is not defined by the existence of a significant other or the lack of thereof. There is definitely no need to rush to be in a relationship by Valentine’s Day. Just ensure that you are happy despite your relationship status.

HANDLING POLITICAL ANXIETY AS THE RACE GETS CLOSER

The 2020 presidential election is just over a year away; however, things are already heating up on both sides of the political divide. If the 2016 election is any indication, the period leading up to the 2020 election could get quite ugly. This will produce a lot of debates and there will be significant political anxiety as well.

Until the day of the election, there will be a gradual build-up of increasing coverage right around the clock. This will make it difficult for individuals to escape election-related news. If you are already concerned about what it will be like, there are some tips below on handling political anxiety as the race gets closer.

Unplug

Social media has made it so there is no lack of opinions about current events. There is a certain level of anonymity on social media; therefore, these platforms can turn into a vicious war zone of heated back-and-forth arguments between individuals of differing political views.

Political experts are expected to share their thoughts on the election. However, what increases anxiety for many individuals is seeing constant arguments between family and friends over their different stances. For example, if your brother and uncle have differing views and make personal attacks during arguments online or offline, this could negatively impact family gatherings. Social media talks result in a lot of wasted energy and can be extremely unhealthy for individuals.

Avoid Political Commentary

Keeping up with local and national news is important and this includes any newsworthy item leading up to Election Day. However, actual news only takes up a certain amount of television airtime. The same is true for newspapers and magazines. Therefore, for some additional “spice,” political commentary and the creation of “hot takes” are used to extend election coverage as the day approaches.

>READ: STEPS YOU CAN TAKE NOW TO MANAGE STRESS

While good points are made in some of these commentaries at times, the majority of them are only going to increase anxiety and stress. Every publication is more or less biased towards one side or the other and as such, many individuals simple seek out the views of those who are politically like-minded. Nothing is wrong with getting confirmation on your beliefs, however, consistently seeking out the opposition to get their take on issues is unhealthy. A heavy right-leaning or left-leaning media house is not really going to be making any new points.

Television stations are constantly seeking great ratings and views drive the online world. Keep this in mind when you hear controversial statements on these platforms.  Some of these people don’t even believe half of what they are saying! They are simply trying to get a positive and negative reaction from members of the two major political parties.

>EDITOR’S NOTE: Prime Women Media outlets will not be engaging in any political opinions or choosing any sides…so you’ll always have a safe haven of information here. 

Become Involved in the Community in an Objective Way

Going into the presidential election of 2020, among the biggest focuses is boosting the number of voters. Many individuals are not interested in voting in the election. Even though one vote might seem irrelevant in the grand scheme of things, the country needs increased participation in voting.

 

Volunteering to register people to vote is an overall positive move. It assists in spreading a good message, without having to take one side or the other.  This is among the most positive things an individual can do to assist with the upcoming election. Doing a bit of good is sometimes the best way to handle any type of anxiety.

Focus on Loved Ones

Whoever ends up winning the 2020 election, many people will be disappointed. Rather than allowing the election to direct the mood of a household, focus on the important people and things in your life.

>READ: 5 SIMPLE STRATEGIES FOR RELIEVING STRESS

Additionally, you should bear in mind that others may not share your political views. This is quite alright. Regrettably, there are family members who have such strong opinions against each other’s views that it sometimes breaks a family. But, is losing a relationship over political differences worth it in the end?

Regardless of who takes office, residents of the U.S. will continue to have a lot of control over their success and happiness. There is a good reason for the checks and balances system in the U.S. The winning president cannot just take office and change everything in a matter of a few years.

Strive to control what is within your control and do not allow a victory or a defeat to make a huge difference. Embrace your beliefs, work hard pursuing your individual goals and do not allow politics to consume too much of your energy. And if you are facing political anxiety know you’re not alone. The American Psychological Association has resources to help cope with political anxiety, and using our tips above can make a difference.

HOW TO EASE FINANCIAL ANXIETY WITH KIDS GOING BACK TO SCHOOL OR COLLEGE

Financial anxiety with kids going back to school/college is no minor issue. Parents are responsible for buying school supplies, saving for college tuition and expenses, and making a budget. If you are not financially prepared for all the expenses, you can get overwhelmed.

Unfortunately, as many already know, stress caused by financial situations can make things extremely difficult on a family and anxiety levels can boil over.  Here are some helpful tips to help you ease financial worries.

Make a Budget and Stick to It

The very idea of making a budget is dreadful to most people, but you should consider this a priority in anything related to finances. Without a financial plan, you are most likely to find yourself in debt. That said, it is crucial to set aside a few minutes to figure out how much your kids’ expenses will be every semester or school year. List all possible expenses including tuition, cost of living, cost of supplies, etc.

After having an overvieWriting down your budget and goals can help reduce financial anxiety as kids head back to schools and colleges.w of expected expenses, write down all your sources of income and start appropriating. Sometimes, the expenses may be higher than all your income combined. If this is the case, research possible scholarships and tuition discounts to take advantage of. If not, look for another income source to supplement your current income.

Having this kind of financial information can reduce your financial stress and give you a chance to plan ahead. Of course, a budget will not work at all if you do not stick to it. It is necessary to check your spending habits once in a while to see if you are on the right track. Therefore, always list down where your money goes, what expenses to expect, and adjust your budget as often as necessary.

Cut Costs Whenever Possible

While parents want to teach kids independence, if your expenses outweigh your income it’s also crucial to cut costs whenever possible. Ask yourself:

  • Do your kids need to stay in an expensive housing option?
  • Can they stay with you while they continue with their studies?
  • Can they get a roommate?

It is important to teach kids about cost-cutting as well. There is a big difference between a want and a need. While kids often want you to buy them nice stuff, it is okay to say no if the items are not necessary. Teaching kids the value of budgeting and cost-cutting not only helps ease your financial anxiety, but also makes them financially wise in the future.

Unfortunately, this is sometimes easier said than done when you are looking into the teary eyes of your child who wants the same expensive trendy shoes as his classmates in order to “fit in”.

>READ: THE GIFT OF STARTING YOUNG: SETTING THE FOUNDATION FOR FINANCIAL SUCCESS

Avoid Credit Card Debt

Remember that credit card debt causes a lot of financial stress. There are many benefits to not using a credit card. For one, you are most likely to avoid temptation. Marketers use a lot of lures like discounts, the illusion of scarcity, free trials, and the like to get you to buy stuff you may not even need. Having a credit card on hand makes it easy to impulsively purchase unnecessary items.

Avoid incurring more debt by not using credit cards as much as possible. Teach your kids not to rely on credit cards as well. Unless you are using a line of credit for business purposes that make you money, use cash or debit for purchases.

Take Advantage of Educational Plans and Funding

As early as possible, plan for the future education of your kids:

  • Research educational plans that help you save for your kids’ college tuition and expenses.
  • For long term horizons, you may want to invest in mutual funds and stocks.
  • For short term horizons, allocate a fixed amount of a portion of your income to get a pre-need plan.

Another way to ease your financial worries is to look into scholarships or grants that your kids can apply for. Many scholarships from various institutions are not claimed because parents do not take the time to do their research. If you run out of options, look into government loans and student lines of credit as a last resort. Remember, it is better for your kids to finish their studies with the help of a loan than to end up not having an education.

>READ: SUMMER IS A GOOD TIME TO TEACH FINANCIAL LITERACY

Final Word

Take control of your life and finances by becoming financially literate. Always make a conscious effort to stick to a budget. Never buy anything that is not necessary and avoid credit card debt. As early as possible, plan for your kids’ education. You can ease yourself from financial anxiety if you prepare for the financial challenges ahead.

And remember, even though your children may be upset now and may not understand why they are not getting everything they want for going back to school, they will when they get older.  And they may even thank you for it!

>READ: ARE YOU THE FAMILY BANK? 

>READ: THE FAMILY MONEY TALK: WHAT TO DISCUSS AND WHY 

 

The Brain Heart Connection

When you think about your brain, you probably think of it as a command center, having control over all functions of the body. During embryo development, the heart starts forming on day 18, while the brain starts forming on day 30. After that, the brain and heart work together for the duration of a lifetime.

We all know that eating a healthy diet and exercising contribute to our heart health. In turn, those health benefits are passed along to the brain too. Keeping your heart and brain in sync comes down to managing cholesterol, blood sugar, blood pressure and maintaining a healthy weight. Your brain signals your heart to pump oxygenated blood to your heart. In response, the heart delivers the blood to your body.

However, your heart is not just a muscle pumping blood, it truly has a mind of its own. Your heart contains more than 40,000 neurons and neurotransmitters. This is literally an extension of the same network that’s inside your brain. Your heart is responsible for producing Atrial Natriuretic Peptide (ANP), a hormone that triggers the brain to release Oxytocin. Experts have referred to this hormone as the “love” hormone because it triggers feelings of empathy, trust and relationship-building according to Medical News Today.

Love and compassion are complex emotions. They require your heart and brain to work together. Seeing a lost and emotional child in a crowded store would probably pull on your heartstrings. You might feel a tightening in your chest or a rush of adrenaline to want to help. This is your brain and your heart working together — sympathetically and parasympathetically. When your heart receives signals from the brain via the sympathetic nerves, it pumps faster. The sympathetic nerves cause you to rush to the child to protect them, and try to help find their parents. The parasympathetic nerves will encourage you to take deep breaths, to calm down and lower your heart rate.

Often times this adrenaline can be a good thing, helping you to act when you might have otherwise frozen. But sometimes, adrenaline can cause those nerves to stand on edge. Sometimes, the brain-heart connection and bundle of nerves can get so out of hand that they can cause panic attacks or people can feel like they’re having a heart attack. One way to keep your emotions in check is to focus on your breathing.

Deep breathing is an excellent coping skill for anxiety. Everyone’s optimum breath rate is between four to seven breaths a minute. When we are talking, we are taking 12 to 14 breaths a minute while trying to spit it all out. Shallow breathing means you’re not getting the oxygen pushed all the way down into the diaphragm. It stays in your chest. Trying to be mindful of your emotions and your breathing will help lower your heart rate. When you slow your heart rate down, it creates what’s called, your Heart Rate Variability (HRV).

Monitoring your HRV can be an excellent tool for tracking and accountability. It will make you more aware of your diet, exercise, sleeping and other behaviors that affect your heart and brain. This awareness can be very helpful in managing stress, which is great for your heart and brain. Modern technology is even getting involved. You can find free apps on smartphones like Welltory or CardioMood that give you real time insight. So the next time you’re experiencing heightened nerves and your anxiety is kicking in, take a moment to breath, think about your heart-brain connection and know there are always options to help you push past your anxiety.

A Fox News Radio contributor, Richardson has spent her educational and professional career learning human behavior. She holds a Master of Science in Counseling from the University of North Texas and is working to integrate cognitive behavioral therapy into the treatment programs for many clients. In April 2009, Richardson opened The Brain Performance Center.

This article was written by Leigh Richardson and originally appeared in Katy Trail Weekly. You can read the article here.

A Different Look at the Brain Body Connection….

It’s a common belief that our brain is the center of our consciousness, where your free will and your soul lives. We also think that the brain is a closed system when it comes to our thought process.  It feels like our brain is a special little organ that works in isolation, producing thoughts, mulling them over and then turning them into bodily action.

That may not be the case.

Think of your brain as a computer.  What kind of results would you get from your laptop if the user interface responded only to random inputs from the environment, such as wind, temperature, and other unplanned events?  Your computer would be useless.  The inputs would be random and the outputs wouldn’t make sense.  That’s why we consider the user interface to be an integral part of the computer.

One interesting hypothesis likens humans to robots that respond to programming.  If you aren’t intentionally programming yourself, the environment and other people are doing it for you. Luckily you have a user interface to your brain.  And that interface is your body.  Your body is collecting inputs from all over and feeding them to your brain to reprogram it.  The theory is- give your body the right inputs and you can reprogram your brain.

This concept is both obvious and radical at the same time.  On one hand, we know from experience that our thoughts are directly influenced by what your body is experiencing.  But because we also believe our brain is the special vessel of our free will, consciousness, and soul, we might believe the brain can also make its own independent decisions.  It can’t.  It is a computer that responds to inputs. Give it the right inputs and you’ll get the right outputs.  And your body is the user interface.

This hypothesis suggests another framework for viewing your brain. This framework gives you the means to program your brain with intention instead of letting the environment do it randomly. All you need to do is reframe your body to be part of your brain.

In the old worldview, where the brain is its own user interface, you may find yourself feeling sad, grumpy, tired, angry, and other negative emotions.  And you probably feel a bit helpless to stop it.  Your brain is determining your mood – seemingly on its own – and the rest of your body simply responds to it like a puppet on a string.  This is the most common worldview, and it can be debilitating to many people. They go through life in continuous mental anguish, feeling helpless to do anything about it.

Use hunger as an example.  You know from experience that being hungry can make you cranky.  But if you’re not aware of that mind-body connection – and often we are not-  it is easy to assume the brain is operating on its own to make you cranky.  All you needed was some food to reprogram your brain to more positive thoughts. In this case your digestive system was the user interface to your brain.

If you think of your body as the user interface to your brain, you can manipulate your environment until your thoughts change.  This process can help stop your  brain from thinking whatever it randomly wants to think.  When you do something to stop negative inputs into your brain via your body (the user interface) your brain responds by not producing negative thoughts.

Take an inventory of the people in your life who are unhappy. Ask some questions about what they are doing about their unhappiness. Rarely will the person say they are working on their body to fix their minds.

Now take an inventory of your more well-adjusted friends. Watch the degree to which they manipulate their bodies to manage their minds. Once you see the pattern, you will start to see it everywhere.

The brain likes to focus on one thing at a time. So make sure it is focusing where you want it.

It’s possible that the source of your thoughts just might be your body, and by giving your body the right inputs, it may help to reprogram your brain.

A Different Look at the Brain – Body Connection….

It’s a common belief that our brain is the center of our consciousness, where your free will and your soul lives. We also think that the brain is a closed system when it comes to our thought process.  It feels like our brain is a special little organ that works in isolation, producing thoughts, mulling them over and then turning them into bodily action.

That may not be the case.

Think of your brain as a computer.  What kind of results would you get from your laptop if the user interface responded only to random inputs from the environment, such as wind, temperature, and other unplanned events?  Your computer would be useless.  The inputs would be random and the outputs wouldn’t make sense.  That’s why we consider the user interface to be an integral part of the computer.

One interesting hypothesis likens humans to robots that respond to programming.  If you aren’t intentionally programming yourself, the environment and other people are doing it for you. Luckily you have a user interface to your brain.  And that interface is your body.  Your body is collecting inputs from all over and feeding them to your brain to reprogram it.  The theory is- give your body the right inputs and you can reprogram your brain.

This concept is both obvious and radical at the same time.  On one hand, we know from experience that our thoughts are directly influenced by what your body is experiencing.  But because we also believe our brain is the special vessel of our free will, consciousness, and soul, we might believe the brain can also make its own independent decisions.  It can’t.  It is a computer that responds to inputs. Give it the right inputs and you’ll get the right outputs.  And your body is the user interface.

This hypothesis suggests another framework for viewing your brain. This framework gives you the means to program your brain with intention instead of letting the environment do it randomly. All you need to do is reframe your body to be part of your brain.

In the old worldview, where the brain is its own user interface, you may find yourself feeling sad, grumpy, tired, angry, and other negative emotions.  And you probably feel a bit helpless to stop it.  Your brain is determining your mood – seemingly on its own – and the rest of your body simply responds to it like a puppet on a string.  This is the most common worldview, and it can be debilitating to many people. They go through life in continuous mental anguish, feeling helpless to do anything about it.

Use hunger as an example.  You know from experience that being hungry can make you cranky.  But if you’re not aware of that mind-body connection – and often we are not-  it is easy to assume the brain is operating on its own to make you cranky.  All you needed was some food to reprogram your brain to more positive thoughts. In this case your digestive system was the user interface to your brain.

If you think of your body as the user interface to your brain, you can manipulate your environment until your thoughts change.  This process can help stop your  brain from thinking whatever it randomly wants to think.  When you do something to stop negative inputs into your brain via your body (the user interface) your brain responds by not producing negative thoughts.

Take an inventory of the people in your life who are unhappy. Ask some questions about what they are doing about their unhappiness. Rarely will the person say they are working on their body to fix their minds.

Now take an inventory of your more well-adjusted friends. Watch the degree to which they manipulate their bodies to manage their minds. Once you see the pattern, you will start to see it everywhere.

The brain likes to focus on one thing at a time. So make sure it is focusing where you want it.

It’s possible that the source of your thoughts just might be your body, and by giving your body the right inputs, it may help to reprogram your brain.

Shocking New Role Found for the Immune System: Controlling Social Interactions

In a startling discovery that raises fundamental questions about human behavior, researchers at the University of Virginia School of Medicine have determined that the immune system directly affects – and even controls – creatures’ social behavior, such as their desire to interact with others.

So could immune system problems contribute to social anxiety? The answer appears to be yes, and that finding could have significant implications for neurological diseases such as autism-spectrum disorders and schizophrenia.immune2

Prior to this study,  the brain and the adaptive immune system were thought to be isolated from each other, and any immune activity in the brain was perceived as sign of a pathology.  The findings now show that not only are they closely interacting, but some behavior traits might have evolved due to the body’s immune response to pathogens. Think of it this way: Our bodies may just be multicellular battlefields for two ancient forces: pathogens and the immune system. Part of our personality may actually be dictated by the immune system.

Just last year, it was discovered that meningeal vessels directly link the brain with the lymphatic system. That overturned decades of textbook teaching that the brain was “immune privileged,” lacking a direct connection to the immune system. This discovery opened the door for entirely new ways of thinking about how the brain and the immune system interact.

Is it an evolutional thing?

The follow-up finding is equally illuminating, shedding light on both the workings of the brain and on evolution itself. The relationship between people and pathogens could have directly affected the development of our social behavior, allowing us to engage in the social interactions necessary for the survival of the species while developing ways for our immune systems to protect us from the diseases that accompany those interactions. Social behavior is, of course, in the interest of pathogens, as it allows them to spread.

Researchers have shown that a specific immune molecule, interferon gamma, seems to be critical for social behavior and that a variety of creatures, such as flies, zebrafish, mice and rats, activate interferon gamma responses when they are social. Normally, this molecule is produced by the immune system in response to bacteria, viruses or parasites. Blocking the molecule in mice using genetic modification made regions of the brain hyperactive, causing the mice to become less social. Restoring the molecule restored the brain connectivity and behavior to normal. In their findings, researches noted that the immune molecule plays a “profound role in maintaining proper social function.”

For survival of the species, it’s critical for an organism to be social (gathering, hunting, sexual reproduction etc).  When organisms come together, you have a higher propensity to spread infection. So, organisms need to be social to survive, but in doing so there is a much higher chance of spreading pathogens. The hypothesis is that interferon gamma, in evolution, has been used as a more efficient way to both boost social behavior while boosting an anti-pathogen response.

Understanding the implications

The researchers note that a malfunctioning immune system may be responsible for “social deficits in numerous neurological and psychiatric disorders.”  But exactly what this might mean for autism, social anxiety, and other specific conditions requires further investigation. It is unlikely that any one molecule will be responsible for disease or the key to a cure. The researchers believe that the causes are likely to be much more complex. But the discovery that the immune system – and possibly germs, by extension – can control our social interactions raises many exciting avenues for scientists to explore, both in terms of battling neurological disorders,  and understanding human behavior.